Wednesday, June 30, 2010


This Little Piggy is certain a win at the "Little Miss Pork Chop Pageant" at 5 years old will guarantee her daughter entry into the State Pageant. Then: THE NATIONALS.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010


This Little Piggy sees him for the first time after all these years, the wounds of the grammar school betrayal still deep.

Monday, June 28, 2010


This Little Piggy has moved to a new town – her past indiscretions safely hidden.

Sunday, June 27, 2010


This Little Piggy wonders why his magnifying glass does not burn the grown ups who hurt him.

Saturday, June 26, 2010


This Little Piggy receives a moderate smattering of applause as he performs both the opening chords of ‘Jump’ and ‘The Final Countdown’ for those waiting in the Swill-Mart express line.

Friday, June 25, 2010


This Little Piggy is paralyzed with fear in anticipation of the dentist’s appointment.

Thursday, June 24, 2010


This Little Piggy takes one step for Pig, one giant leap for Pigkind.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010


This Little Piggy enthusiastically blows the vuvuzela, fully understanding that it makes him 'douchey.'

Tuesday, June 22, 2010


This Little Piggy prefers the company of fish to that of other pigs.

Monday, June 21, 2010


This Little Piggy takes a deep breath, then begins to describe his recurring 'apple suffocation' nightmare.

Sunday, June 20, 2010


This Little Piggy achieves a 'personal best' late night diaper change time.

Saturday, June 19, 2010


This Little Piggy lifts the final stone, putting himself in lead position during the third round of The World's Strongest Swine competition.

Friday, June 18, 2010


This Little Piggy's hopeless act soon becomes his defining moment, as his survival spawns a successful high-diving career.

Thursday, June 17, 2010


This Little Piggy has learned, no matter how much everyone laughs, the Cap'n's peg leg is not open subject matter for jokes.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010


This Little Piggy has been sober for 26 years, yet will always be an alcoholic."

Tuesday, June 15, 2010


This Little Piggy dances feverishly to hold their gaze, aged experience no match for young, fresh meat.

Monday, June 14, 2010


This Little Piggy receives little sympathy as he attempts to justify not only eating Francis, but use of his head as a curling stone.

Sunday, June 13, 2010


This Little Piggy has religiously maintained his workout routine for over twenty years: headband, spandex and the Top Gun soundtrack.

Saturday, June 12, 2010


This Little Piggy, sterilized in her youth, will never fill the space in her soul that only a child could.

Friday, June 11, 2010


This Little Piggy, having already soiled his trousers, continues to defecate, too embarrassed to stand and walk down the aisle.

Thursday, June 10, 2010


This Little Piggy drives away from the scene of the accident, the smell of alcohol thick on his breath.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010


This Little Piggy considers the fly in his soup a bonus, and tips his server accordingly.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010


This Little Piggy’s cough grows painful with age. She knows it is killing her, but accepts she will never quit.

Monday, June 7, 2010


This Little Piggy stands on the people mover, admiring the luxury timepiece he purchased to compensate for erectile dysfunction.

Sunday, June 6, 2010


This Little Piggy, though throwing a textbook strike, never recovers from splitting his lucky shirt.

Saturday, June 5, 2010


This Little Piggy washes his hands for the 23rd time today. Once complete, he will flip on and off the light switch six times.

Friday, June 4, 2010


This Little Piggy purchases his personal ointments at the self-check, hoping to avoid cashier judgment. It is unavoidable when his item will not properly scan.

Thursday, June 3, 2010


This Little Piggy soon regrets his decision to leave the house without having taken his allergy medication.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010


This Little Piggy pulls her close as the gulf provides its spectacular 'rainbowset.'

Tuesday, June 1, 2010


This Little Piggy instinctively races to the sound of ice cream chimes, but the sight of her hindquarters in the reflection brings her to a halt.