6/30/10

This Little Piggy is certain a win at the "Little Miss Pork Chop Pageant" at 5 years old will guarantee her daughter entry into the State Pageant. Then: THE NATIONALS.

6/29/10

This Little Piggy sees him for the first time after all these years, the wounds of the grammar school betrayal still deep.

6/28/10

This Little Piggy has moved to a new town – her past indiscretions safely hidden.

6/27/10

This Little Piggy wonders why his magnifying glass does not burn the grown ups who hurt him.

6/26/10

This Little Piggy receives a moderate smattering of applause as he performs both the opening chords of ‘Jump’ and ‘The Final Countdown’ for those waiting in the Swill-Mart express line.

6/25/10

This Little Piggy is paralyzed with fear in anticipation of the dentist’s appointment.

6/24/10

This Little Piggy takes one step for Pig, one giant leap for Pigkind.

6/23/10

This Little Piggy enthusiastically blows the vuvuzela, fully understanding that it makes him 'douchey.'

6/22/10

This Little Piggy prefers the company of fish to that of other pigs.

6/21/10

This Little Piggy takes a deep breath, then begins to describe his recurring 'apple suffocation' nightmare.

6/20/10

This Little Piggy achieves a 'personal best' late night diaper change time.

6/19/10

This Little Piggy lifts the final stone, putting himself in lead position during the third round of The World's Strongest Swine competition.

6/18/10

This Little Piggy's hopeless act soon becomes his defining moment, as his survival spawns a successful high-diving career.

6/17/10

This Little Piggy has learned, no matter how much everyone laughs, the Cap'n's peg leg is not open subject matter for jokes.

6/16/10

This Little Piggy has been sober for 26 years, yet will always be an alcoholic."

6/15/10

This Little Piggy dances feverishly to hold their gaze, aged experience no match for young, fresh meat.

6/14/10

This Little Piggy receives little sympathy as he attempts to justify not only eating Francis, but use of his head as a curling stone.

6/13/10

This Little Piggy has religiously maintained his workout routine for over twenty years: headband, spandex and the Top Gun soundtrack.

6/12/10

This Little Piggy, sterilized in her youth, will never fill the space in her soul that only a child could.

6/11/10

This Little Piggy, having already soiled his trousers, continues to defecate, too embarrassed to stand and walk down the aisle.

6/10/10

This Little Piggy drives away from the scene of the accident, the smell of alcohol thick on his breath.

6/9/10

This Little Piggy considers the fly in his soup a bonus, and tips his server accordingly.

6/8/10

This Little Piggy’s cough grows painful with age. She knows it is killing her, but accepts she will never quit.

6/7/10

This Little Piggy stands on the people mover, admiring the luxury timepiece he purchased to compensate for erectile dysfunction.

6/6/10

This Little Piggy, though throwing a textbook strike, never recovers from splitting his lucky shirt.

6/5/10

This Little Piggy washes his hands for the 23rd time today. Once complete, he will flip on and off the light switch six times.

6/4/10

This Little Piggy purchases his personal ointments at the self-check, hoping to avoid cashier judgment. It is unavoidable when his item will not properly scan.

6/3/10

This Little Piggy soon regrets his decision to leave the house without having taken his allergy medication.

6/2/10

This Little Piggy pulls her close as the gulf provides its spectacular 'rainbowset.'

6/1/10

This Little Piggy instinctively races to the sound of ice cream chimes, but the sight of her hindquarters in the reflection brings her to a halt.